A Board Book for Bored Children

As I explained in the legal disclaimer on the back, my Board Book for Bored Children isn’t really meant for kids. It’s a spoof on the genre of little kiddie picture books featuring photos of familiar objects, in this case, household items.

I’d never made a board book of this sort before. I figured it out partly from directions in an old edition of The Bonefolder, and partly from adapting what I did know about making stiff-leaf books. I wanted the pages to be laminated to protect the inkjet printouts from getting scratched. But also, this being a gag on children’s board books, I wanted the pages to have the plastic-coated feel of the real thing. How to go about that?

Again, I sheepishly admit to owning and using a scrapbookers’ kind of gizmo, a 5″ Xyron. One of the cartridges available has adhesive on one side, and a matte laminate on the other. Presto! Fortunately, it is a small-ish book, so I can squeeze a few copies out of each cartridge.

It has a drop spine, as seen on this children’s book here, and also described in the Bonefolder instructions mentioned above. I like the effect, and think I’ll be using it again.

I described the concept of A Board Book for Bored Children to a friend who’s an on-again/off-again empty nester. She seemed almost a bit . . . too excited by the idea. She enthusiastically suggested dangerous things I hadn’t even contemplated. Poisonous berries? Abandoned wells? And did I know that Calla Lilies are poisonous?

Oh dear.

7 thoughts on “A Board Book for Bored Children”

  1. Oh dear. I am a sick puppy. I snickered all the way through enjoying and enlarging pages from your book. And like your friend I found more dangerous things leaping to my mind.
    Thank you. Lots. A wonderful start to my morning. And it reminded me that while I was growing up there was a book in the house called ‘Ruthless rhymes for Heartless Homes’ which was much appreciated by all the inhabitants of said home.

  2. Oh thank you! Sometimes I fear my sense of humor will be too much for some. So funny–after I posted this I went to read the comments over at yours, only to return to find you here. I’m so happy you like them. The other pages show a sharp utility knife and a hair dryer with the danger warning on the cord to keep it away from water prominently showing. (I’d tried to actually photograph it in the shower, but those didn’t come out well enough to use.)

    And I have a copy of the very book you mention! Harry Graham! That and Little Willie poems… [contented sigh]. (Says a woman who realized last night that the tune she was walking around humming was Poisoning Pigeons in the Park.) And on that happy note… back to frantic preparations!! I pulled my old artworks out of storage last night, and looked at them next to this and some of the other books…. eclectic.

  3. Ellen, I was traveling through Eureka when I came upon your exhibition. Your paper mosaics were truely magical. But this just made me laugh out loud.


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